Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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