hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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