Got a toothbrush?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize