Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
