I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
