so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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