saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Small penises have feelings too.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Come on in and take your pants off
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