you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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