The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You were trust falling into bushes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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