Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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