OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
