Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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