ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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