I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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