we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
