Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
