Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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