we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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