i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
