Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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