Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
