I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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