Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
