you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
