I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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