I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
