How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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