Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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