somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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