Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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