Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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