okay pat passed out under dana's car
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Someone signed my nipple.
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