Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
