Barsexuality is the new black.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
