Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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