i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
