covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
