You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize