Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
