I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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