highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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