So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
