it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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