I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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