I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
