What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
