bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
