They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize