What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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