I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We left the knife in your bed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
