I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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