hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Operation Purity has been aborted
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
