Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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