From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
