I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
