He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
