I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
