i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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