I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
