Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
